Neighborhood Watch

Hi Barry,

I'm a long-time fan of yours. I love all your work, but in particular, I believe it was your Danny Zuko, rather than Travolta's, that will be viewed as definitive from the vantage point of history, sir.

Be that as it may, my letter today concerns my neighbor Gus. He moved in to the building about a week ago and he refuses to speak to me! The only reason I know his name at all is by breaking into his mailbox and reading his mail!

I believe that a polite "Hello," or "Good Morning" deserves the same in reply. What say you, Mr Bostwick?

Mr What Kind of T*rd Can't Be Polite?
Misty Bay
CANADA



Dear Mr W.K.O.T.C.B.P,

You are of course most correct! I well recall the time as a teen when I did not say a polite "Good Morning" to Ethel Merman on the set of CALL ME MADAM. I'll never forget it, Donald O'Connor (wonderful man, spectacular dancer) had my ears boxed by a teamster! I was certainly most courteous to Mr O'Connor and Miss Merman for the rest of the shoot.

In your case, it's probably best to remember that you are not Donald O'Connor and Gus isn't even Jeff Chandler (apoologies to Jeff Chandler fans). What I mean is that neither of you are famous and don't therefore have recourse to settle this in a bizarre and flamboyant fashion that will later tart up your showbiz autobiography.

Just ignore Gus, he clearly doesn't wish to speak with you and that is his right. And stop reading his mail, that is tres, tres uncool, amigo.

Till the Clouds Roll By,
Barry Bostwick