A Boy Named Brett

Dear Mr Trivia,

I have an unusual problem and I hope you can help. My Name is Brett and I have lived all over because I was an army brat. So I have seen many parts of the world and I am comfortable – and in fact enjoy – many different climes and cultures. When my Dad was stationed in, what was then, West Germany for about five years, I learnt fluency in German and still travel to Bonn yearly, to visit with my old friends.

So I feel I am reasonably well-travelled and educated. Anyways, recently I got married to a Canadian school-teacher called Maureen. We met, and in fact, live in Japan, where she teaches English to adults.

Maureen is smart, but not as well travelled as I, which is where, I believe the trouble starts. She doesn’t think my name, Brett, is particularly masculine. She says, and I quote: “Oh, it's like Lesley, Ashley, Jessie or Kim. It’s a unisex name.”

Now, wherever I have travelled, I have received compliments and praise for the obvious masculinity of the name Brett. In fact not one, but two couples of my acquaintance have named their newborn, boy-children after me.

I think it’s a very masculine name.

The root cause of the problem is the series Grace Under Fire (1993-1998) which, if you recall, was made in the wake of Roseanne and was another blue-collar, strong-woman sitcom. It starred the stand-up comic Brett Butler. And she is undeniably female.

Its on cable over here and I have taken to watching it in the early evening when Maureen comes home from teaching. I think Brett Butler has a droll delivery and fine womanly qualities. But as far as I know, she is one of the few women to be called by our name.

Can you help me, sir?

Brett Xenephontos
Tokyo, JAPAN


Dear Brett,

Just a guess, but I think Maureen might have intuited your attraction to Brett Butler’s “fine, womanly qualities” and she is getting back at you through passive-aggressive sniping.

I suggest you first take it up with her in a conversation and perhaps as a last resort, if conversation fails, consider watching another sitcom such as ACCORDING TO JIM ... kidding! (about ATJ, not about the talking).

Good Luck!

Mr Trivia



Mr Trivia would like to remind all couples that your partner’s idea of a sex symbol is every bit as ludicrous as your own.

Global Warming

Hi Mr Trivia,

Global Warming is Crap, right?

According to the internet the Bush administration opposed the Kyoto protocol for good reasons. And I quote:

"Bush explained in a 2001 speech why he opposed joining the Kyoto Protocol, a global agreement to curb greenhouse gases: "The (Kyoto) targets themselves were arbitrary and not based upon science. For America, complying with those mandates would have a negative economic impact, with layoffs of workers and price increases."

So why are we worried?

Anne Optimimist
Darwin
Northern Territory
AUSTRALIA



Hi Anne,

I'm not worried at all. I'm currently purchasing a property 100 metres above sea level. Around 2020 you can row over in your dinghy and we can laugh about old times.

Cheers,

Mr Trivia


Mr Trivia congratulates those who were more concerned about regime change than climate change for being unafraid to assume the role of modern-day Nero.

What About 2007?

Dear Mister Trivial,

My Significant Other, Carlos, and I would like to get married and have one, maybe four kids. But every night I dream that I am at the edge of a high walkway. I lean on the handrail, testing it. I look over the edge down to the ground which is six maybe seven storeys below. I climb up onto the railing in slow, slow, motion, then I dive into space - floating, drifting, - but definitely falling - and then I wake up.

Am I dreaming about my fears of marrying Carlos who was a sci-fi geek with a tax problem when I met him 5 years ago - so he's a bit of a dreamer and a bit irresponsible with finances - or are these more generalised fears about 2007?

Yours Sincerely,

Leeanne Mariner,
Rottnest Island,
WESTERN AUSTRALIA



Hi Leanne,

I think the giveaway is the term "sci-fi geek". On the new Battlestar Galactica, series 2 (2006), The Chief had exactly the same dream. Both you and he fear that inside you might be a Cylon. Fortunately, Cylons are fictional creations of Glen A Larson's, so I think you'll be okay.

Good Hunting,

Mister Trivia


Mister Trivia would like to make it clear to readers that he is in no way a sci-fi geek himself.